If this isnt the time to be f****** angry, when is?

Are you angry yet?

We lost the city of London today.

8,200 people gone. More than that. That was last Thursday. When we were under 10,000.

Imagine the outcry if we did.

But its more than that by the time you read this, its over 10,000 now.

Its probably 10,100 by the end of this sentence.

Or its the capacity of a league one football ground.

And it would bring about local mourning, grief and then anger. For anyone who underwent Hillsbrough. This is what is happening on an UK scale (and a US one)

So when is the time to be angry?

should we be angry now?

or more than we are?

Up until now I hadn’t been. Not really.

Im in a calm place. Trying to see the hope. Trying to see the beauty. Trying to respond with positivity. Acknowledge reality. Respond. React. Heartfelt plea. But its ok to be angry too, in and amongst it all.. isnt it?

Because those who’ve focussed on beauty and love and neighbourliness have done so.

But they did that before anyway, but only then they did it with petrol fumes filling the air.

Now that the pollution is gone, everyone can see the bloody butterflies, the sunsets in California or fish in the sea.

Well guess what, they were all there before.

All hidden by a haze of toxicity and you were too busy to even look for them. They struggled for survival under our own pollution. Something else has been exposed too. The inhumanity of Neo liberalism. But that was there too also, under the thick fog of comfort. for some.

You were never going to look at the sunset whilst searching 97 channels on your tv anyway. But TV got boring when its 24 hours a day. It was boring anyway. So you looked out the curtains and saw life. But aren’t the bees great.

Comfort is still trying its best.

Its 10,200.

Thats 10,200 reasons to be angry.

Mourn, grieve, yes. But dont for one moment think that ‘nothing could have been done’ to save your friend, your relative, your work colleague. Dont for one moment say that they lost their battle with a virus that is now being lauded by the narcissists narcissist (Trump) as a genius. Blaming everything except himself, even crediting and respecting the enemy.

No dont. Because something could have been done. The virus isnt a genius. Something could have been done. Dont give up.

Praise the nurses, that have coped with this, agreed – whilst being underfunded for decades and had targets thrust on them. I bet by August there’ll be efficient savings being thrust on NHS because the virus is costing too much money – but yeah, clap them on Thursday.

10,250

And were being lied. Taken for a ride.

Because everything we’re being told, is fact checked minutes later, but by then the fawning media have reported it. Its what’s not being said. Claps for the NHS instead of PPE, ‘Were doing testing’ but nothing like what there should be. Government not getting a grilling because access to the press conferences is what the press crave. Get struck off and they’re out. The existence of the press in question as The SUN is losing money. Well fawning over Boris during a time of national scandal, might have something to do with it.

Whilst care homes are live mortuaries, Boris’s TV choices are headline news.

Dont tell the grieving what to think, or how to narrate it.

Do your job and put your job on the line. Press, show some backbone. Go after this tory government, like the Boston Globe went after the Catholic Church. Hold them to account. Then you might be the heroes too during this. You’ll be on our side, for bloody once. You are not just there to report the news. And be entertaining. And hope that whilst 10,300 people in the UK die, that Friday night satire can do its thing and numb the pain. You’re in bed dying of the virus too. And those fuelling your life are lying to you. But you’re too vested in the system to dare even mention it. The new world will exist without you. Tell us how it feels that you are dying too.

Its 10,400.

We may well be about to have the biggest powerful forces unleash the biggest act of gaslighting there has ever been. And whilst are emotions are so dulled by collective internal blame gaming, and passive acceptance of the cruel overlords of government that are barely trying to conceal their own incompetence.

We’ll blindly and passively go and buy a coffee in 6 months time to remember the dead, or a new pair of shoes to numb the pain.

When what we should be is angry. And being angry will help us heal.

And what might prevent the gaslighting is to actually be angry. Angry that those who will thrust things of entertainment are the very vacuous souls who profiteered before and requested funding during. Without Anger nothing will change. Without anger, and awareness (which will all be behind closed doors) the old normal will try everything it can to excert its power. Meanwhile….

10,450

Will you get angry, when its affecting you, and its not just someone else. I cant see the point in waiting for that to happen. By the time you read this, it might have already. If it hasn’t your circle is too small.

10,500.

Because we won’t fight to keep the beauty of now. It’ll be given up with a whimper, for the sake of normal. Whatever unequal numbingly inhuman normal was that was a credit card and food bank away. If by normal you mean that you preferred to keep awareness of poverty away, or not need to value compassionate professions, and have hierarchies, and yes, the poorest have been affected even more by this, but lets value the nurses and doctors. I get it. Normal for the food bank recipient got a whole lot worse. But, yeah, cant wait for when I can sip overpriced coffee and even more over priced cake.

10,600

We shouldn’t be taking out the collective moaning on everyone else painful struggle with existence as they walk in the park. God knows. It might just be the only space they have, and they might be trying to process grief.

Dont fire the arrows across at your common soldier. Friendly fire whilst the death count increases. Thats the game the gaslights in chief in control want you to play.

Directing anger somewhere but not in the right way.

10,700.

But, no, dont be angry? someone will say. Its not the time. But when is. Wait for it all to subside and our anger is diffused by the smell of an avocado sourdough toast breakfast. When will that be.

after 11,000 deaths in the UK alone.

Or 12,000

or… when its the size of Woking (101,000) or South tyneside (150,000) or York (200,000)

Three Old Trafford’s, died in a tragedy.

There will be someone who reads this and says out loud that ‘this isnt the time to be angry’ – as if there’s a right time, or a privilege or right in being able to tell someone else when they can be angry. As that number gets higher and higher. But no, dont get angry now. Wait until… when?

Maybe on Thursday after clapping the NHS, we also look through the actual, the underfunding of the NHS, the nurses who’s pay wasn’t increased, the pressure for outcomes, the privatisation. The underfunded councils now more in need to respond than ever. But no dont do that, not whilst the nearly fallen hero PM is bravely carrying on doing his job. Like the millions of other nearly fallen heroes doing their job too. Millions.

Eyes averted from the core reality.

Ireland is doing a better job than the UK- we’ve been condemned to die.

China did it better

Dont say it, but only America is worse. Only because their narcissist in chief has been in power longer than ours.

13,000

So, we should be angry.

It is part of life to be.

13,050

But we’re having the collective anger sucked out of us. Can you feel it? The struggle for survival, the struggle to understand, and the struggle to deal with it all, is being taken advantage of. The people are confused, lets screw them more. Lie, so only that twitter discovers the truth, and then social media gets the blame for its actual truth finding.

14, 000

What you’re feeling is grief. I get that. And its uncomfortable. But grief for what. You’re not angry that the coffee shop is closed now are you. Anger is part of the real reaction. You dont need to suppress it. Honestly. Direct it. The grief you’re feeling might be anger too. And its ok. Feel it. This is hurt. And dont tell me not to swear either. The dulling of emotions is part of it. Swearing might help you process, lets it out.

Anger meant that Martin Luther King did something, but what he did wasn’t violent.

Anger meant that he f***** cared.

15,000

Anger meant that he cared enough about something that was lost, and what he and many others wanted and needed, justice.

Anger means that we dont give up.

Anger means that the death of your friend, your relative, does not go in vain.

Anger means that we care, and care not just about ourselves.

Compassion, and healthy state of well being, and care means that tough decisions were made for the health of so many.But that was in New Zealand, Germany, and countries where leaders had shreds of empathy and protected their people, not just themselves and the system.

You could take it out on the ballot box, but by then the forces of status quo will all be set in place, and we’ll be lied to and gaslit to like in the last election campaign by the tories. The strategic clinging on to power by strategic media collusion.

I can offer hope, and I can be angry – its both. Focussing on the good, the flowers and the cute romantic couples walking along the sea front. Keeps me, and you going. But I can also feel anger, and feel an anger suppressed. Collective suppression of anger. That’ll be the game soon. Forgive the reference, but Red Dwarf 3’s polymorph changed shape to confuse its victims then suck out their emotions. That will be the strategy next. It already is.

I can be angry and so can, and so should you. And genuinely, I hate being angry. But if I love then I have to be angry too.

16,000

Love still wins

17,000

Its championship stadiums.

18,000

Its worth fighting for

19,000

20,000

Oh.

And that’s only the death toll in hospitals.

So, its probably already 20,000.

It was at the start of this piece.

My home town of Market Harbrough, tory voting blue as it got, Market Harbrough has 18,000 people in it. They have now all gone. In their ones, twos, threes, fours, all over the UK. Towns are disappearing by the week.

Towns are disappearing by the week.

Towns are disappearing by the week.

Soon it’ll be so bad there’ll be benefit concerns in Africa, for the dying in the UK. The comic relief money will come back. George Weah will visit the side streets of Haringey and they’ll be a telethon in Nigeria.

25,000

Are you angry yet?

Honestly, have you not felt angry at all?

Despair.

F****** care.

Rutland is next on the list 40,000

is it not real yet?

is it not real until someone we know dies.

Is it not real because this is just a number.

Before we know it it’ll be Croydon. 385,000.

5 was bad enough.

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